


useless.

by BenAmidala



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, bring on the pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-17
Updated: 2016-05-17
Packaged: 2018-06-08 23:58:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6880807
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BenAmidala/pseuds/BenAmidala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lot was lost on Mustafar.</p>
            </blockquote>





	useless.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vaderdown](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vaderdown/gifts).



> "Stop and wait a sec,  
> Oh when you look at me like that my darling,  
> What did you expect?  
> I’d probably still adore you with your hands around my neck."  
> -505, Arctic Monkeys

The Force is something greater than anything you've ever known. The Force is greater than you, greater than him, greater than anyone in this entire galaxy. And that is something you'll never understand.

Somewhere between light and dark, you exist. Anakin tells you that you’re balanced, and the others say you’re dangerous. He tells you that’s what the Force needs, balance. The Force needs you. You don't believe in the perfect balance. You believe in conflict. All there needs to be is something to tip the scale and there’s no longer any balance. It could be the Sith, the power they hold, tempting you to take it as your own. It could be.

You learn that balance only matters so much when it comes to the Force because the Force is bigger and stronger than all of you.

You learn that when you learn what Anakin has done.

You thought your own balance was just Anakin's way of praising you into his arms. You thought he was the perfect depiction of light. That he was your anchor and pulled to the light. You were the dark. You were the clutch of the dark side that wrapped your hands around his neck and choked him to death. He did this for you.

Stepping around bodies, shoes drenched in blood, you decide that loving Anakin Skywalker is the worst thing you've ever done. Obi-Wan puts his hand on your shoulder, trying to send you peaceful thoughts, but all you feel is panic. All around you is calamity, how could you be peaceful? Even Obi-Wan’s emotions flicker between fear and shock, yet he tries to calm you. You shrug his hand off, shaking your head.

"He did this. Anakin. He did this." You whisper. You pointedly avoid looking at the floor, in the fear that you’ll retch again.

"We don't know what happened, Y/N." Obi-Wan tries to defend him. You both _know_  it was him. There’s nothing he can say, so he opts for salvaging at the situation.

" _Children_. They were children, Obi-Wan." You shake your head, willing away the thoughts that come crashing into your mind. You can feel Anakin here, his signature in the Force sticking out to you like a sore thumb. "He's here. He's close to us. We have to stop him."

Obi-Wan tentatively steps behind you. This is hard for him, you can feel it, and it’s weakening him so much that his defenses are falling. Emotions tumble off of him like boulders down a hill. He loves Anakin. You shiver and lose your footing, regaining your posture immediately. You watch your feet this time, despite the tears welling at the corners of your eyes.

Seeing him- _Anakin_  standing up there, pacing back and forth, a figure covered by a dark cloak, you wonder if it’s truly him. You know what he feels like in the Force, something so painfully familiar to you now, you know it wouldn't make sense for it to be anyone else. Still, you hope- you _foolishly_  hope it isn't him. You hope Anakin is far away and this is an awful nightmare. Even worse is approaching him, the way he turns sharply, his cloak cast behind him.  
  
His _eyes_.

"You came." You don't miss that he's staring at you, eyes burning into yours. Who is this?

Obi-Wan shifts behind you, turning his back for a moment, and you’re tempted to ask if he's all right, but you don't. You don't know what Anakin is capable of anymore. Now, he is your enemy.

"Anakin-" Your voice cracks, your throat tight, "Anakin, what are you doing? Why are you doing. . .this? I thought. . .I thought you said. You said to me-" You put your hand over your mouth as reluctant tears begin to slide down your cheeks. "Anakin, I love you. You told me you would make things right!"

If he were anyone else, you would back away when he steps towards you. You would reach for your lightsaber and drive him right through the chest and end this right here and now, but you let him place his hands on your biceps and look down at you, golden eyes pleading with you to hear him out. If he were anyone else, you would notice everything happening at the moment. The sound of Obi-Wan flipping his lightsaber on and walking right behind you. You can see the reflection of the blue light on Anakin's face as Obi-Wan points his saber directly at his face. "Step away from her, Anakin."

If he were anyone else.

"Come with me." Anakin looks away from you and at Obi-Wan, for only a second, before his eyes flicker back down to you. His head dips so he can kiss you, and it’s short-lived, but it’s only to distract you from him grabbing Obi-Wan's wrist and _yanking_  his saber from his hand, partially pulling him with it. Obi-Wan stumbles and Anakin tosses the lightsaber behind him. It rolls to the edge of the platform and disappears.

Anakin shoves you behind him, breaking your kiss, and letting you fall to your knees against the duracrete. You hear him draw his lightsaber as Obi-Wan takes deep breath.

"You won't turn her against me! She _loves_  me!" Anakin screams.

 _Anakin, no_. You try to call to him in his mind, but it’s a dead end. He’s pointedly blocking everything out from touching him. You can't feel his signature anymore.

"Anakin, let me- let me help you." Obi-Wan begins, and you go to turn your head but you stop, looking halfway between the ground and what you can see of Anakin's robes flowing behind him. "You’re my brother, Anakin. Let me help you. You can-"

"Do you know what power feels like, Obi-Wan?” Anakin cuts him off carelessly. “It feels like paradise. A paradise I have been denied my _entire_  life! Y/N and I will rule the galaxy! We'll bring order and peace to this disaster of a world! Together!" Anakin's voice is hoarse from shouting. You look behind you now, watching Anakin back Obi-Wan to the edge of the platform with his lightsaber angled against his throat.

"The Jedi are useless, and I will destroy _every_  last one. There is nothing you can deny me now, my Master. I will have everything, the entire _galaxy_  in my ha-"

It’s not your plan. It’s your body moving without any coherent thought running through your mind. It’s you, or something in you, acting on its own.

You stand, fervently rushing to place your hand against Anakin's back, pulling on his cloak. His rant stops midway through, his inability to feel you as you approached him allowing you to catch him off guard. You tug softly until Anakin turns around to look at you, more of a glare than the look of a lover, but you swallow the lump in your throat and smile at him.

"I'll come with you, Anakin."

His face flushes with a sense of pride, like he knew you wouldn't deny him.

"I'll go anywhere with you, Anakin."

He steps toward you, using one hand to hold his lightsaber as the other comes to cup your cheek and he bends his head down to kiss you again. You relish in the warmth of his lips. . .before your hand moves to your own lightsaber, strapped to your hip. You pull and it comes loose and you switch it on. _I'm sorry, Anakin, I love you. I'm sorry, I love you, please forgive me, I love you, I'm so sor-_  


His hand seizes your wrist before you get it anywhere near him. He tears away from you, glowing yellow eyes dark with anger. "You meant to trick me. He turned you against me! You _lied_  to me!" His hand is shaking, despite the numbing grip he has on your arm.

"Anakin, please!" You howl, trying to wrestle your arm from his grip. You feel the tingling in your fingers working its way back to your knuckles.

"You said you'd come with me."

His grip tightens, making your hand pulse and tingle and burn.

" _Liar_!"

It tears from him and into the night like a knife slicing into the sky. If he were anyone else. . .

You tear your hand away from him, shoving him back with the other, and he only stumbles for a second, but it’s a second too long. You take your lightsaber in both hands and run towards him, tears blurring your vision.

If he were anyone else, it might have ended happily.

With your saber in his chest, his hands mirror yours, squeezing them until they hurt with your grip on the lightsaber's hilt. You look up at his face, watching the anger diminish into pain. You watch the seed of pain flourish across his face as his nose scrunches up and he screams.

"I would have done anything for you, Anakin."

You pull until your lightsaber is completely out of him, slowly, so you can catch his head in your hands. You don't even care enough to turn it off, tossing it aside and hoping that the thing disappears forever and you never have to look at it again.

He writhes in pain, cursing and squirming.

"I'm sorry." You push the hair that clings to his face off of his forehead, feeling his sweat stick to your fingers. "I had to. I'm sorry."

Anakin looks at you through slitted eyes and you feel it. Your connection to him, his signature, everything at once is open to you again. You feel his pain, flitting through your body like electric waves. You feel the fear in him that was so deeply rooted in his soul that it scares you, too. You feel his love for you- oh, Maker.

It’s a whirlwind that sucks you up and spits you out. His love for you consumes you whole, you feel it, every piece of it, and then it’s gone. Everything. Everything is gone.

You feel the familiarity of him, of his presence, disappear. It’s like he was never there at all, nothing but the body in your arms to tell you that he had ever been real.

"No." You shake your head. Your hands sift through his robes, pulling soaked, bloody cloth away from him to expose his wound. You flinch. "No, no, Anakin. Anakin." You shake him desperately. "No."

A hand graces your shoulder and you whip your body around. "You were brave."

"No. No, I was stupid. I was stupid. We could have convinced him." You shrug his hand away yet again, aggravated with him. "Jedi don't kill, Obi-Wan. Why did you let me do that? Why did you let me hurt him?"

Obi-Wan steps back, frowning at you. "I . . .He would have hurt you. He was going to kill us. If I could have stopped you, I would have."

"Why _didn't_  you?" You hiss through your teeth. You won't look up at him. You sift your hands through Anakin's dark hair. 

Obi-Wan is silent.

"He was right. I should have believed him. He was right." You will away the rest of your tears. You place Anakin's head gently against the duracrete and call your lightsaber to your hand. You stand. You should have believed him.

_"The Jedi are useless."_

 


End file.
